Teasers
Sneak A Peak on some of Pajama Addict's popular books
“What if I tell you that I’ve fallen out?” I asked. It was a Saturday morning; I was having coffee while she was having tea – something that we'd been doing everyday since we had decided to live together. And something that was starting to irritate me – us doing the same things daily as if we were following a badly-written script. “Ha?” She blinked at me as if she was having a hard time trying to understand my question. “Paano kung hindi na katulad dati ang nararamdaman ko sa’yo?” She gave me a tentative smile. “What do you mean…?” “My feelings have faded,” was my icy response. I saw the flash of hurt in those brown eyes; I saw how her smile slipped. And I saw how she fought for composure and won. “Oh…” Slowly, she put down the pink and gold cup she was drinking tea from. “Is this your way of telling me that we should break up?” I nodded. “Yes...” “May…may iba ba…?” she asked. I wanted to lie to her but I couldn’t. I knew that she deserved the truth. “Oo.” She drew out a long, shaky breath. “Kailan pa?” “Seven months.” I saw how her slender throat moved as she swallowed. “M-mahal mo?” I nodded again. She picked up her cup cradling it with trembling hands as if it were a prized possession. “I will move out today. Pero, mukhang hindi kasya ‘yung mga gamit ko kasi ‘yung Ecosport ang dala ko. I’ll come back for my remaining things later—” “No, you can’t,” she said cutting me off, her eyes trained on the cup in her hands. “After you walk out that door, you are not allowed to come back. Ever. I’ll send your things over to your parents’ house.” “Zoe…” I sighed. “Look, Zoe, I want us to part as friends.” She raised her face to look at me. “Friends? After telling me that you’ve been cheating on me for the past seven months, you want us to be friends? After all that fucking, you want us to fucking part as friends?” I heaved another sigh. “I understand that you are upset and I can’t blame you. But, I am no longer happy, Zoe. You’ve changed. You are no longer the fun woman I fell in love with in high school. You became too contented with how things are between us that it became boring—” “Are you talking about me or are we talking about sex? Is that what you’ve been getting from her, more adventures in bed?” “Don’t misunderstand...nitong mga nakaraang buwan, I was just pretending to be happy, pero, wala na talaga, hindi ko na kayang magkunyaring masaya. At alam ko na ikaw ay gan’un din—” “Don’t you dare tell me how I feel. You are cheating on me and I am trying to wrap my head around how easy it is for you to just sit there and put an end to seven years of us. Don’t try to lessen your guilt by making it appear as if you are doing all this to spare me from unhappiness.” “I’m sorry…” I saw how her lower lip trembled before she bowed her head. I knew that she was crying even when I couldn’t hear her sobs and I was torn between walking away and comforting her for the last time. I pushed to my feet and I was surprised when she did the same. I watched her walk to the door before pulling it and holding it open. “Leave,” she calmly said; too calm for someone whose face was wet with her own tears. “Please…” I stood my gaze falling on the cup of coffee on the table which was untouched and had probably grown cold. She wasn’t into coffee but she never failed to make me the best cup every morning for the past two years. I picked my cup up—blue and gold to match hers— and drank from it for the last time, our eyes meeting over the rim. I watched as a lone tear made a trek down her face and my vision started to blur as my own eyes welled-up. “Zoe…” Her shoulders shook as she wept. “Goodbye, Griffith…” ================ Love’s Margin of Error Book 1 of 5: The Yu’s Mathematical Theories of the Heart
“Veluz, Chanel Morgan Ashley…” My professor looked up from the index cards he was holding to look at me. “Veluz, Chanel Morgan Ashley …” he repeated. “Hoy, Girl…” my friend, Jaira, whispered elbowing me. “Kanina ka pa tinatawag ni Sir…” “Veluz, Chanel Morgan Ashley …” “Present…” I finally said. My professor gave me a curt nod before he called out another name. “Okay ka lang ba?” Jaira asked in a whisper. “Anong nangyari sa’yo? Patay ang telepono mo buong araw kahapon. Kasama namin si Abe and he wanted to talk to you.” “I had an emergency…” “Oh, God, what happened? Okay ka lang naman?” I nodded. “Galit ka pa rin ba kay Abe? Girl, alalang-alala ‘yung tao sa’yo. Alam mo bang nakisuyo pa s’ya kay Dan na puntahan ka sa bahay n’yo? But, according to Dan ay wala ka raw d’un sabi ng isa sa mga katulong n’yo na nakausap n’ya.” “I will talk to him later,” I said as my vision started to become blurry with unshed tears. I angrily swiped at my eyes with the back of my hand as our professor started his lecture. “Chanel…” “Later, Jaira, please…” I whispered blinking my tears away. Until yesterday, I was your typical eighteen-year old girl who’s into K-dramas, K-pop boy bands, fashion, movies, and partying. And as an only child, I wouldn’t even try to deny that I grew up pampered and spoiled. Until my father thought that since I was already an adult, I should do more adult things like taking on responsibilities and facing the consequences of my deeds. Which would have been cool had the change not been so sudden and so confusing. “Ano bang pinag-awayan n’yo ni Abe at parang sobrang lala naman yata?” Jaira couldn’t seem to shut up. “Ito yata ang pinakamatagal ninyong away, ‘di ba?” I did not reply as I pretended to write something on my notebook. “Well, according to Abe, nagselos ka raw kay Mai and he’s been trying to reach you to explain his side kaya lang hindi mo raw s’ya kinakausap. Ang sabi ko nga ay bakit hindi ka na lang n’ya puntahan dito at nang magkausap kayo? I gave him your class schedule and—” “Jaira, pwede?” I snapped. My friend’s eyes widened in surprise at my outburst. “Miss Veluz, Miss Hidalgo, is everything okay?” I saw the hurt in Jaira’s eyes. “Yes, Sir…” she mumbled before she lowered her head. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to explain to my friend how my life was falling apart. But, after what happened yesterday, I just didn’t have the energy to defend myself. “Sir…” one of our classmates, Shilo, raised her hand. “Yes, Miss Balagtas…?” “Sir, is that a wedding ring you’re wearing?” she asked and the classroom was filled with curious whispers. "Wedding ring nga…” "Kasal na si Sir…” Jaira whose crush on Mr. Palafox wasn’t something that she kept a secret suddenly stood. “Sir, please tell us that that’s not a wedding ring. Grabe ka naman manakit ng damdamin, Sir…” My professor looked at the ring on his finger before he smiled. “Yes, it’s a wedding ring. I got married yesterday.” The girls’ disappointed sigh rippled across the room. Jaira slowly sat down not even trying to hide her disappointment; she’s had a crush on Mr. Palafox since we were freshmen. “Jai…” I turned to her to give her comfort but she turned away from me to talk to another classmate, Kyla, who was seated to her right. “Bakit naman biglaan, Sir? Grabe, Sir, hindi na kami ma-i-inspire na pumasok n’yan." Mr. Palafox gamely laughed. “Bakit naman, Miss Bustos? Isn’t your future enough motivation for you to attend my class?” “Eh, Sir, akala ko po kasi ikaw ang future ko, eh…” a classmate said and the rest laughed. “Sir, who’s the lucky girl?” Mr. Palafox smiled. “Turn your books to page 387…” My classmates groaned. “Si Sir, ang daya…” “Sir, professor din po ba s’ya?”. Mr. Palafox shook his head. “Hindi.” “Ano pong name, Sir, nang mahanap namin sa FB?” Jaira queried. “’Tsaka para makita ko po kung mas maganda kaysa akin.” My classmates laughed. Mr. Palafox leaned against the blackboard, his expression thoughtful as he looked at my friend. “Hm…” He then transferred his gaze to me before he smiled. "Oo naman, mas maganda s’ya sa’yo..." he declared. The whole class oohed and I looked away as I fiddled with the wedding band on my finger. ====== To Sir, With Love
I looked at your lips as you talked, not really hearing you. I nodded at the right moments and pasted a smile on my face as I blinked my tears away. It has been five months. Five months of waiting for you - you who never made a move, you who chalked my existence to oblivion; you who’s holding the letter that took me three weeks to write. I really don’t know what to say, you said. I laughed softly. How could you not know what to say now when you told me the same thing months ago? Did you succeed where I failed? Did you forget me while I was desperately holding on to what you said? Oh... I murmured. I suddenly wasn’t sure what to say, too. I opened my mouth to say something witty but my brain stopped being funny the moment you folded my letter then handed it back to me. This is awkward, you mumbled. No, this isn’t awkward. This is painful... I wanted to tell you but I was afraid that if I'd open my mouth I’d end up begging – begging for a chance, begging for an us, begging for you to love me. I smiled and turned to leave but you reached for my hand then gave it a squeeze. I’m sorry, you whispered. I swallowed the sob that rose to my throat. No worries… I heard myself reply. I didn’t want you to see me cry. I didn’t want you to see me broken. I didn’t want you to see me so fragile but I could only afford to be brave for so long. I felt my tears cascade down my face and I knew that it was time to let you go; I heard about her. I heard how persistent and insistent she was, someone I could never be. Still, it didn't stop me from hoping. Bye...I softly said but you hugged me from behind and I cried silently as you held me. I cried for the months wasted waiting. I cried for the years lost ignoring you. I cried knowing that we’d never be. I decided to use all the wishes I kept for moments like this – moments when I desperately wish for wishes to come true. But you didn’t follow me as I walked away and fifty-two steps and fifty-two wasted wishes later, I realized that it was truly the end of something that didn’t even start… ============ With Every Heartbeat